Friday, September 7, 2012

The Girl of Your Dreams vs The Girl That is Available

Having listened to men over the years sharing their greatest ordeals as regarding dating and relationship, I can as of today authoritatively tell you that the biggest challenge men face is the challenge of approaching the woman they are attracted to and confidently expressing themselves like a real man should. Some that were able to summon the courage to step up to lady of their dreams did not know how to take things from one step to another, so they get stuck feeling embarrassed.
Most married men that come to me for counseling seem to have similar problems. What is the problem, I know you are yearning to known; that is what am about to share with you. A very large chunk of the marriage men you see around are not fulfilled in their matrimonial homes anymore. Outwardly they may pretend to be happy but deep inside they feel imprisoned by their own cowardice.
You see, my friend, the trouble started while these men were still single but they were either too scared or lacked the crucial dating skills they required to go for the woman they truly desired to be with. I will give you a true life story to illustrate my point but before I do that I would want to advise you to take your time to read this article to the end, you would be glad you did.
Now, here is my story, I hope you will learn one or two things from it. This was an account of a client of mine who latter become a very close friend. For the sake of this article let's call him jack. Jack came to me for counseling after his marriage of two years fell apart. After listening to his story for about ninety minutes I could tell exactly where Jack missed his opportunity for true fulfillment and happiness in marriage.
Jack used to work at a cinema, there he had the opportunity of meeting all sort of people. One among these people was a lady Jack knew from high school. Her name is Jessica (not her real name), Jack have always liked Jessica. She was exactly the type of lady Jack wanted; she was just the right package, the right drug that Jack needed to cure his madness.
While they were in high school, he always sorts for the perfect opportunity to ask Jessie out, but he was always intimidated by her social and academic status. Jessica was the most popular female student in the school. She was obviously the most beautiful and plus that, her grades were the best in her class.
So Jack was scared that he might be rejected if he asked her out, but Jessica was the girl of his dreams. So, Jack did everything in his power to impress this girl. He started studying extra hours to raise his grads, he thought if he could at least get his academics right, that maybe she would be impressed and that might make her pay him more attention.
He also tried to get popular, so he became a basket ball player, but none of this change anything. He did all these nice stuffs but failed to do one thing that is most important than the other things he did; approaching Jessica and letting her know how he felt about her.
They graduated from high school and faced their different destinies. Jack parents were broke so they could not afford a university education for him but Jessica's dad was a doctor and was rich. So, Jessica went to Georgia Tech, graduated and got a good paying blue collar job, while Jack was just a regular guy who worked in a cinema house.
So here they were again, four years later after high school. Jack could not believe his eyes the first time he saw Jessie at the cinema where he worked, it felt like an angel just fell from heaven. Jessica looked even more beautiful than she looked way back in high school but that was not even the problem. The trouble here again was that Jessica earned five times what Jack took home at the end of the month.
Those same old feelings of intimidation came back but this time with a greater intensity. Jack wanted to ask Jessica out one more time but once again he feared he would be rejected. He had that feeling you get when it seems like something you want is out of your reach.
Jessica kept coming back to that same cinema for the next three months and for that whole time Jack could not do anything about what he felt for this girl; he didn't know how to go about asking Jessica out and not being rejected. After three months of coming to the cinema where jack worked, Jessica suddenly stopped coming and later moved out of town. Nine months after Jessica moved out of town, Jack got married to a colleague who worked at the same cinema with him.
Two years after they got married, things fell apart. That was when he came to my office for counseling. It is so painful and shameful that most men feel powerless when it comes to approaching the woman they truly desire and need. This is why good girls don't have any choice but to end up in the arms of men that don't treat them right.This type of things happens because the good guys don't have the boldness to go for the women of their dreams.
Most men simply end up dating and marrying the woman that is available. That was what Jack did and that is the same mistake most guys who had gone through a divorce also have made. Marrying the girl that is available instead of the woman of your dreams, is one reason why some men cannot be faithful to their partners. This is also why the feeling of affection they felt at the onset of their relationship fizzle out with time. My advice to you today is this; don't go for the girl that is available but for the one that your heart truly wants to be with(the girl of your dreams).
She might be very rich, she might work in the government, she might have a doctorate degree, she might be a top Hollywood actress, she might be a super model, no matter what she is, never let have status, beauty or money scare or intimidate you in any way. My friend get educated on how attraction and seduction works with women, with proper and quality training on these topics(attraction and seduction), getting the girl of your dreams to fall in love with you would be a piece of cake. By the way I am Lemar Bloom and I appreciate you taking your valuable time to listen to what I had to say. God bless you and please stay out of trouble.

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